Musings through pictures...

I am the fallen trees on wooded floor, wrapped in mulching leaves.

I am the star lit sky,

I am flying through outer space reaching soul known depth of passage.

I am the rain that falls on the face of the efin changling running through the forest.

Early Years: M.B.S. and the Canadian

One, two, three, four, five, six... 'how many readers?!' seven, eight, nine, a palmist, rune reader, clairvoyant, clairvoyant, clairvoyant, fifteen, an artist, seventeen, 'someone else has been on some kind of psychic TV'. Many faces looking back trying to catch the eye of the young gaunt girl who was shifting uneasily around the perimeter. Dressed in black with lashings of makeup around her eyes shyness covered an inner astuteness and a keen eye for the fake and fraudulent. Looking considerably younger than her years she must of looked an easy catch to the less sincere in the room. For reasons unknown to anyone it has stuck that age equals wisdom. More fool the modern day spiritualist that holds this view! 

She was looking for answers, she'd got a whiff of a direction and was seeking clarification. Unfortunately for our young heroine the only place to seek out such truths was at the local annual Mind Body Spirit Fair lined wall to wall with all manner of weird, wonderful esoteric treats, delights and dangers. After dallying for a while at the crystal stall she resigned herself to what she believed the inevitable and made her choice, a wissen looking grey haired aura photography clairvoyant. Narrowing her eyes and strengthening her resolve the girl strode up and requested a photo and reading. The lady narrowed her eyes in the same resolute manner and beckoned to what looked to be her equally wissen husband, a druidy looking man with twinkly looking eyes and with a dumbed down alertness about him. 'Prepare this girl for her photo' croaked the lady in a husky Canadian accent. Taken aback a little by the roughness of the voice the girl positioned herself in a crocked little wooden chair as instructed and posed solemnly wrapped in a black cloth. Peering over an odd shaped contraption connected to an elderly computer was the Canadians grey bearded husband. He was quite obviously pulling his 'concentrating face' as he fiddled with knobs and clicked his mouse until 'Ready, ok now, we've done it! Just wait a few minutes for it to print out and we'll be ready for you.' equally surprisingly the gentleman spoke in a soft rolling Scottish accent a favourite of the young girls. This was of comfort as she had begun to feel uneasy at the outward appearances of both these individuals and had resigned herself to the fact that if nothing else she would have a useful photo to go home with.

Soon enough the photo was printed and handed to the girl, as he unwrapped her from the black clothe he said 'Its still wet, you'll have to hold it by the edge so as not to smudge the image!' Nodding earnestly the girl was guided away from the photographic department towards the reading department.

The grey lady sat in front of a pack of disceveralled looking cards. Unusually she shuffled them and picked for the girl. The cards she recognised as Crystal Cards, they depicted computer generated images of an artists interpretation of each crystal listed on the bottom of each card. The girl liked the cards but looked upon them as gobblydy gook. With wrinkled forehead the lady began to speak. Her voice droned on in a cryptic manner with very little of what she said making any sense to the girl. Somehow though there was a silent acknowledgement that there was an immense power being played out between the two. The lady drew yet another card. The girl craned her neck around to peep at the words 'storm' it said. 'How ominous' thought the girl straightening herself up and preparing herself for bad news. The intensity of the moment was broken by a loud click as the lady switched off the tape recorder that had been sitting as a third party to the reading all the while. 'What I have to say to you remains off tape' Cracked the Canadian accent again, 'you my darlin' have had trouble with the dark side?' Stunned for a second the girl regrouped as the all too familiar memories of childhood battles with 'shadow' spirit flooded her head. 'Yes' she murmured, 'I did'. Nodding in acknowledgement of the unspoken pain the girl had most certainly suffered the lady continued. 'We both know this energy is back right?' The girls muscles tightened she too easily slipped into the months chilling incidents, the lady continued. 'Well you know what, its sometimes ok to take light to these entities but there are times when you need to kick ass. You know, tell the bastards to F off'. Stunned into silence by the Canadians frankness it was the girls turn to nod in an acknowledging manner. The fortune tellers style was uncouth to say the least not to mention the colourful language that was to follow as the woman imparted all her knowledge on the 'dark arts' to the girl , off record of course.

The encounter between them grew in magnitude as the likemindeds sparked off of each others experiences. The girl stared on wide eyed intently absorbing all the lady had to say regarding her current brush with the undesirable side of spirit. When the girl had been armed with the correct but unorthodox formulae for tacking her demons the Canadian deemed the experience worth while. The tape machine clicked back on and as if by magic she droned on with the analysis of the aura photo that by now had faded into insignificance behind the revelations of the off the record converstaion.

Soon enough it was over. The girl thanked the Canadian for her services and nodded toward the 'photographer' in recognition of his comforting presence. As she turned to leave the wissen reader shouted after her, 'You'll thank me if you take my advice and stop drinking that shit' gesturing to a now flat can of diet coke gripped in her latest fledglings bony white hand. 'Aspartamine, its a poison, heed my word!' Smiling stiffly the girl nodded again trying to hide the guilt of her ignorance at the harmful beverage she held so dear and desperately trying to shrink from the humiliation of her stark outing of her one indulgence. So swiftly she moved on around he fair head swimming, the content of the reading now residing in her bag recorded on tape for all time. But at what use? 'The tape holds all I don't need, my memory has to hold all that was useful!' 'Typical!' Sure enough there was a definite need for some heavy down time and thought processing but here was not the time nor the place.

 

The fair had now lost its appeal, she had found what she didn't know she had been seeking and decided to head home. Slowly she made her way through the sea of spiritual seekers and money makers out towards the entrance hallway and out of the door into the light. To her utter amazement it was not fresh air that greeted her but a cloud of cigarette smoke, thick and suffocating. Wrinkle nosed and slightly miffed that in such a wholesome environment would the organisers allow people to smoke in mass in the doorway of a 'Mind Body Spirit' event she peered into the smoke. In the midst of it all, wrinkled and wissen, croaking and smiling was the Canadian.... 'we all have our vices' she quipped after the girl. So they both went their separate ways humoured by the hypocrisy of the vices but happy at the recognition that no matter how wise, or how gifted we are far from infallible, we are still happily human.

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Preparation

I take a match to a candle to bring in the light, carefully I choose incense, not too strong, just enough to help change my mindset, a familiar scent to encourage the flow.  I scan my eye across the small white clothed table when I feel that oh so familiar tug towards a faithful stone. Gently I caress it in my hand quietly waiting for it to speak to me. The gentle pressure builds in my inner ear, the slight pitch change signalling that other frequency.' Game on' I think to myself as I align myself towards the task ahead. Softly I feel leaf by leaf the offering I wish to present to my companions, I whisper to myself 'from tiny acorns do great oaks grow'.  I search within my heart for the guidance the words of a loved one echoes through my being 'I have faith in you, be brave, move without fear.' Outside the window I can hear the wind rushing through the trees and hear their straining voices as they ride the element who a day previous was almost absent. Intermittent pattering and the odd chime as rain droplets strike potted plants below. Tightening my senses I feel the earth holding my standing friends breathe again as it  absorbs the life giving liquid so precious at this time. I give thanks to the earth who holds me, who feeds my living being. I give thanks also to the sky who shelters me, gives me warmth or guides me with his stars, pin pricks of wisdom.  I take a deep breath and am humbled to be here.  So I begin. Chosen ones here we stand as seemingly insignificant as the droplet of water teetering on the edge of my windowsill this stormy night. We are akin to this droplet in so many ways but have you ever stopped to consider it?

The droplet takes the form of a sphere, the most energy efficient shape in the universe, if it was not for gravity all water would float in spheres. It is bound into shape with a tensioned surface, you can possibly liken this self formed casing to the boundaries we set in our minds or the physical auric shell surrounding our bodies  as both things are borne from us. Indeed many psychoanalysts of our time have likened the self to a sphere with the ego floating as a tiny island within it. The sphere of the self is free of location, free of linear factors and is seemingly unique to each one of us. Our little rain drop is gripped tightly by the window sill, for a moment they have a symbiotic relationship hovering there for a moment in time. The sill does not require the rain no more than the rain requires it, their meeting is mere experience. We too have encounters that for a moment or more that  pull us out of our energy efficient state of aloneness and cause us to melt for a while with another which in the case of the windowsill may not be the most feeding of relations . In this vain there are many interactions that should be marked down as nothing more than experience but sometimes this is not the case, how many times have you felt gripped by things that pull you out of shape, do not feed you, cause you to resist the pull of 'gravity' and keep you from moving onto your path?

 Imagine our droplet again. Its momentum may catch up with it and cause it to gradually regroup to fall away from the sill again carrying on its journey leaving behind a small residue of itself. We too can part from situations or events that require us only to pick up information and move on, we too energetically or maybe emotionally speaking leave a residue of ourselves behind however in falling we gain momentum, a freedom from that which we leave behind. The droplet is attracted to more of its kind as it lands on another surface, the droplets may meld together forming a bigger union. This too may form momentum and fall again, leaving a little residue behind. Likened forms merge boundaries for a while and there is a meaningful exchange, such connections may have a more lasting place on the journey but these too may in time find themselves moving in separate circles.

So this is where we find our selves, maybe you might want to cast your mind to where you on your path in terms of the interactions or bonds that may be present in this phase of your life. Have you found your way to this blog to form a new alliance, to share for a while? Will you pick up likemindeds here or just collect information you need to gather momentum again to move on with your journey? Whatever it may be chosen ones, remember you are unique, a fully formed self moving through this life so do so with clear intent knowing you will only flow forward effectively if you learn to stay a self contained being of light.